Dead bugs, Death and Favorit-est things

After an exceptionally fun outing yesterday, on the drive back, Bebu whispered to me in the car.

"I have a secret for you".

Then she asked me very carefully, "Will Appa (Daddy) get old?"

I replied, "Ya, I mean he is getting older..?"

She whispered back again, "But I dont want him to die.."

Silent pause from me. Silence from her. I was stumped for a second, because my "having-just-finished-an ice-cream" brain wasn't ready for a heavy duty topic.

Me: "Ok, Bebu"

Then came the next one while I was still thinking! " Will I die too?"

So I said to her in a very matter of fact, but quite calm way, "Well, Some day you might.."


I leaned over the sleeping infant on my lap to tussle her hair.


Bebu: "But I dont want to die"

Me : " hmmm, yeah.. I don't either,Bebu"

Bebu: "Because if I die, I won't be alive anymore and I can't do my favorite-st thing of swimming!"

Me: "That's right! So that's why we should try and swim as much as we can while we are alive!"

Adding,  "And stay safe while we are doing it!"

Bebu still wasn't done with death. "Will you die?"

Me: "Someday I will. We all will. When we get old, our bodies shut down"

Bebu: "Will Grandma die first? She is really old"


Hubs: "She is older, but she tries to stay healthy. Sometimes people die not just when they are old, but when they are sick". (Phew! thanks Hubs, for jumping in with that one!)

And then we talked more about our recently departed aunt that we just went to celebrate the memory of. We stayed and prayed with her and our family. We spoke about how she used to visit, how Bebu was having a hard time remembering her, how she might be with God, and how she is in our memories.

And then Bebu got distracted with something else and we were off to another topic.

Having both the kids asleep later on, I asked Hubs if he knew what might have triggered her question. Earlier this morning, he and Bebu had gone swimming. By the showers lay a dead bug. Bebu noticed it and they had a conversation about how the bug might have died and how it didn't move anymore. Hubs had mentioned to her that the bug might have died because it might have gotten really old.

It took a day for my almost 5 year old to ponder and arrive at the conclusion that what happens to bugs could happen to people as well.

It took 2 minutes of talking in the car with Bebu about death to remind myself  that it's important for me to do the things I love best while I am alive. Like enjoying the ice cream that I eat. And talking to Bebu about "dead bugs and other things". And spending time with my family.  For in Bebu's exact words " because if I die, I won't be alive anymore and I can't do my favorite-st thing of ....."